So its been like forever since the Dawg has written in the journal. I know, I know its my fault but I had to back away for a while because the only thing I had going on was PlayStation and a hard dick and really who wants to hear about that all the time.
I haven't written in the journal since my Silky Johnson Hate Post back in January. So lets try to get caught up with some things:
1) Relationships - Sadly, your boy had taken a step backward in this department and totally has closed himself from folk. The progress I made hit a speed bump and I had to pull back and re-examine things. Most of this was because I did not want to hurt anyone while I tried the bests to work out things for me.
See I had a problem with comparing my past life with women. Not comparing them to past loves (you know like KP is better/worst than Xena, the Warrior Princess) but I always compare my feelings then with my feelings now. I know what it means to be in Love, I know what I feel like when I was in love. However I got confused with the way I felt about those women.
My feelings weren't wrong ... just the people I was in love with were.
It's time I understand that, thinking that there's something different between loving a good person or bad.
Love is Love, right?
2) TV: Now I don't get shocked by TV. I mean I'm usually the smartest man in the room when it comes to figuring out things because I look for screenwriting clues rather than getting engrossed in the story. But last nights episode of House threw me. I mean they have been building on the fact that Taub was depressed about his lot in life and Thirteen with her sickness I thought for sure that one of them was going to bite it. (Spoiler) The fact that Kuntner killed himself with no visible signs was shrewd and shocking to say the least (end Spoiler) A lot of people on the interwebs are saying that this is blatant manipulation and that folk should be fired. Look, I'm not one of those folks who should be sending bottles of hot sauce (Roswell) or Nuts (Jericho) to some studio head to save the show because I recognize it for what it is: Business.
This issue with House was simply done to move the meter (and the fact that [Spoiler] Kal Penn is leaving to take a job with the Obama administration [/Spoiler]) ... its all business.
3) Speaking of TV. Justina Machado, is on my list of people I'll watch in just about anything. I think its the fact that I lust after her that I just sat through MTV's bad Pedro movie just to see her play his sister. I've been enthralled with her since I've seen her in that horrible Ice Cube movie Torque. She would be the baby mama if I had a chance.
4) My career: I haven't been happy at the job in quiet a long time. I don't feel excited about doing things to improve it inside this office because I'm bored with Internet Search Marketing. Considering the fact that what I do is play traffic cop for clients, I'm a little dismayed. Each morning I try to figure out new ways to call out of work. Of course my sense of responsibility gets the best of me and I shuffle into the work to continue running on the wheel.
I need to find out what I'm here for and start doing it.
I've given myself 6 months to find something new and start doing it. I'm not going into my birthday staring out of the window pining for something new.
5) Sex: I don't get to talk about it over in Blackfolk (in fact I took some time away from the QOTD because of Troll issues) but its been on my mind a lot. A friend of mine said that perhaps that due to my age I've been reaching my peak and these thoughts are simply my body telling me I need to get some ... NOW.
That hasn't been easy. Leaving the House= FAIL.
Which is funny because I've always been able to stumble on a piece or two. Now what has been different now as supposed to before in the past is that I've taken out the Internet out of the equasion. Craigislist, Plenty Of Fish and AdultfriendFinder has been HORRIBLE for hooking up as of late. Sadly it means that i'll be closing up shop at those locations.
So with no other avenues for sexual partners ... I have to *gasp* *shudder* leave my house.
Oh what will the Dawg do ... More later.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
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